Happy Halloween

Took my son out for trick-or-treating at a community thing with haunted hay rides, bounce house, haunted houses, costume contest, and of course trick-or-treating.  He had so much fun and everyone was saying hi to him because he wad Spongebob.  Then we went to were my niece was and he got lots of candy there.  I'm just glad he had fun, but I don't think it was such a good idea to walk around so much because I am completely sore all over.  I am so tired I almost feel asleep at the wheel coming home because I didn't have a lot of sleep last night because my son wanted to get up at 5am thinking he was going trick-or-treating.  I am just so happy that he had so much fun.  He had been counting the days till Halloween on the calender and was so excited when it was finally here.  I hope everyone else had a fun and safe Halloween for those that participate.  

What is going on!

Why is it that when one thing goes wrong it seems that everything else that can go wrong, does.  I get out of surgery, then get a bill that says final notice, my fiance has not been to work in three days, and he works on commission and we didn't have enough money to pay for that, then my car breaks down and could not get it back for another three days, so that is almost a week my fiance has been out of work and to top it all off, I have pain medication that makes me feel so tired that I can't even keep my eyes open so that I can do my school work or pay attention in class.  I am so thankful for my sister and her husband, who raised me for a little while in my teens, because they gave me the rest of the money I needed for my bill and my parents for helping with groceries, since my fiance couldn't work.  To top off the good stuff that is happening, my fiance is getting more bonuses at work, even though it means longer hours, we don't mind.  An extra twenty dollars a day could really help us out.

Post Surgery

It is finally over and I couldn't be in more pain.  Well, I probably could, but I hope not to be.  Every thing went fine and I only had to have three small incisions.  My fiance told me that I was breathing funny when I came out of surgery but it went back to normal after I had woken up and went back to sleep.  It hurts to cough and blow my nose but I will be so glad to not have any more pain.  And my dad is back in town so I won't have to do any driving for at least a week.  That will give me plenty of time to recover.  I am also hoping to have enough food for about a week so that I do not have to go to the grocery store.  I feel kind of nauseous when I eat any ways but I have my family to worry about.  My fiance has to miss two days of work because I am the only one that drives and I can barely get out of bed, let alone drive.  I just hope everyone will be fine while I'm out of commission.  I just found out, also, that two of my good friends have to get the same thing done.  I really hope the best for them, they are not fortunate enough to have insurance and I hope that they can receive the treatment they need.  Well, I think its time for me to get some more sleep.       

Trying to make everyone else happy

As I have mentioned before I am taking care of my mother and my parents apartments but what I probably didn't mention was that my dad is always out of town instead of taking care of his own responsibilities and leaving them for me.  I am trying so hard to be the responsible one in my family but it is getting harder and harder to keep up with school, my mom, my own family, and my dad's mess.  I have so much on my plate right now and am having my surgery on the 18th to top it all off.  I feel like I'm trapped in a corner with no where to go, stuck in my parents apartments with no money to move and get away from their stress.  Sometimes I feel like they are trying to keep me here because I am the 4th of 5 children and the only one who does anything to help them.  All their son's have done is steal from them and I am the only one who has been here for them through it all, telling them what choices they have, what they can do to fix their situation, and what they have to do to make it stop.  Now that I have been there for them for this long I feel guilty wanting to leave but I also feel I have no choice.  I'm not sure what to do anymore.  They are very elderly and won't be around much longer and I believe I should just stick with them till the end but I still feel like I am being used and I just need to leave.  They do not support my decision to go to school and my dad just wants me to marry rich and sit on my butt for the rest of my life but I am happy not having a lot, too much money just complicates things, I have been there and done that.  I couldn't be happier with my fiance and my son and I love that our lives are not complicated together, just with my family.  It is really putting a strain on me and my fiance and he hates being around them sometimes because of the way they treat me.  I am so thankful I have somewhere to vent out all these different thoughts because I would blow up on my family and I do not want to do that, they just do not deserve it.       

Scared of surgery

Tuesday, Sept. 28th I went to see the surgeon about getting my gallbladder taken out and to hear all the possible complications that could happen is really making me nervous.  I know that this is a routine surgery and that a lot of people get this done all the time, as a matter of fact the surgeon told me it is hundreds of thousands each year, but for my asthma and sleep apnea, which I didn't even know snoring was a form of sleep apnea, to be a factor for even further complications really has me scared to my core.  This is going to be the first time I am being put to sleep for surgery.  I have only had one surgery done before and that was a c-section and that was planned because during my pregnancy I developed gestational diabetes and my OB thought that the baby was going to be about 10 lbs., which he wasn't he came out 8 lbs 12oz, and countless dental work done because when I was about 12 yrs old I broke my two front teeth which were already my adult teeth and have had many complications since.  But even thought I have already gone through so much I just can't shake this bad feeling.  I haven't had an asthma flair ups in 8 yrs and I am so worried that it will decide to act up either while I'm in surgery or right after.  My fiance calls me a worry wort and maybe I am but can you blame me, this is my first surgery with me being asleep.  I have been gassed before for dental work and the dream I had was so weird, but is that the same?  I have tried to do research using the words complications, asthma, and gallbladder surgery, and several different variations, but I still cannot find anything. I can only hope for the best and try to take my mind off of that bad feeling.  Some times I hate woman intuition, ha ha ha.